Timing is everything.
Since the beginning of my journey in October of 2015, God has coordinated the timing of each new chapter in astonishing ways so I shouldn’t be surprised that he led me to leave Bassett at the end of November, right at the beginning of the Christmas season. The month of December is all about preparing for the 25th, it’s a time of Advent to get ready to celebrate the birth of Christ, for buying gifts for friends and family, planning parties and the meals that will be shared. If you’re a fan of movies, in a scene from Home Alone, Kevin’s mom is desperately trying to get home to her son and in a moment of sheer panic yells at the ticket agent, “Christmas is the season of perpetual hope!”. That line got me to thinking about timing and the hope that comes with this time of year.
After our launch party this past Wednesday, I was filled with the love of family, friends, and new friends I had just met who came out to support The Open Door House. Later that day a new feeling came over me, I also began to feel a bit of the panic that Kevin’s mom felt in that scene, but mine was about money. Suddenly thoughts of how I would raise enough money to purchase a house next spring began to overtake my thoughts and a sense of dread washed over me. Then I remembered all the other tasks I had to complete before I could even begin to move kids into a house and it all spiraled downhill from there. Thankfully, because God knows my heart, he placed a wonderful friend in my life who keeps me centered and speaks truth into my heart when I need it most. Her name is Angela and she’s the beauty in the black scarf standing with me in the photo below. Friday morning we met for coffee and I unloaded my thoughts and fears in a stream of babbling chaos. When I was done she told me of a passage in 1 Kings 19:12.
I need to be patient and wait, his messages to us aren’t always grand but often very quiet. This ministry is not mine, it’s his and I am not in control of the way it unfolds. A few years ago this would have unnerved me, in fact the first 2 1/2 years of working on what would soon be The Open Door House, I often found myself feeling very frustrated in the slowness of it all. But Angela reminded me that his timing is perfect and to trust in it and him. Once I let go and truly let him lead, I was finally able to relax and just enjoy the process (most days). I am a self-proclaimed control freak so the act of handing over and letting go is not something I’m used to but it has been such a freeing experience, thank you God!
What does all of this mean? I am going to keep working on what I know I need to be doing and let the rest fall into place. Right now I’m working through an online ministry certification for nonprofits, I’m continuing to meet with members of my community to share my story and passion for these kids that I will be serving, and I’m working on another fundraiser with the help of my amazing and supportive husband. Waiting for God doesn’t mean hanging out and watching Netflix, it means putting your head down and as my son says, grinding. Working hard and waiting for God to introduce me to the next person who can advise me, the next person who will be touched by the staggering statistics of kids who have aged out of foster care and want to support The Open Door House. Most importantly I will be praying for wisdom, strength, clarity, and a humble heart. For the kids who are aging out, may God fill them with a peace that there are people in the world who are fighting for them every day and that soon, very soon there will be a house for them and people waiting to love them and who will have their back, where they will find shelter, safety and know what it means to be wanted and valued.
Timing is everything; praying the timing is soon.